Till We Meet Again
by Smaugsypoo
Summary: After not being in contact with her best friend Josh Hutcherson for 4 years, Jennifer Lawrence is in a bit of a schock when she finds out that her co-worker for her new movie is her old best friend. She's torn between the feelings she has for her best friend and the feeling she has for her fiance, and tries her best to block out the feelings for Joshua; without success.
1. Chapter 1

"And that is a wrap!" shouted the director, and I felt a kind of relief flush through me. The movie that I'd been working on for the past year and a half was finally in the box, and I could finally have some alone time at home with Pippi and Jamie; at least until my manager calls me with my next job, but I hoped that it wouldn't be anytime soon.

I love working, I love acting and love meeting new people, but I had been working on movie after movie where I barely had time for me or my fianc . It'd been four years since the last Mockingjay movie had hit theaters, and a lot of things had changed since then. Because I'd been getting many jobs in England, I'd decided to temporarily move to London, where I also met my fiancé, Jamie Campbell Bower. At first I thought we would be the oddest couple on Earth, but it turned out to work out just fine, and on our 2 year anniversary, Jamie proposed to me on top of the London eye at sunset.

Things had changed with Josh, too. A year after Mockingjay was released, the two of us were filming movies back to back, so we both didn't have the time to connect anymore. There were occasional birthday texts, or holiday texts, but we didn't meet up like we used to. I thought of him every now and then; wondered how he was doing, how his family was doing, but every time I attempted to text him, or even call him sometimes, there was no reply. I assumed that he'd changed his number, and eventually stopped trying to contact him. Too many times did I think of the good times back when we were filming The Hunger Games movies, how he made me feel when he was around, how we acted like complete idiots even in front of the cameras. Jamie and I were no different, but I still missed Josh. I would never have the feelings for Jamie that I had for Joshua.

I looked down at my phone as it vibrated with a text, just as I was changing out of my sweaty filming clothes which were never to be worn again by me, and the screen lit up with the name 'Jamie'. A smile crossed my face and I brushed my finger across the screen to unlock my phone, sitting down on the bed in my trailer, wearing nothing but my underwear now.

' _Cannot wait to see you tonight, angel. Dinner plans for 7 still on?'_

I smiled softly, my fingers quickly typing the words, _'You betcha. See you there xx'_ before tossing my phone onto my bed and completely stripping myself of the rest of my clothes. Turning on the hot shower that I'd longed for since 6 o'clock this morning, I stepped under the water and let it engulf me completely.

I must have been in there for quite some time, because by the time I opened my eyes and finally stepped out of the shower, the mirror was completely fogged up, the bathroom was the steamiest that I had ever seen, and I had 3 missed calls from my agent. I let out an audible groan as I wrapped a towel around my body and hair. He's probably calling me for another job, when all I wanted was some god damn _peace_. I put my phone on silent and tossed it back on the bed.

Within an hour, I was dressed in a white lacy dress with a dark leather belt strapped around my waist, my curly, still somewhat damp hair put up in a bun, and all my belongings were packed away. I hauled it all into the trunk of my car, put my phone on silent so that I wouldn't have to hear the annoying ring tone when my agent called me for the 5th time, and headed towards Jamie's and my favorite restaurant in the heart of London. During the drive, I could see my phone light up numerous times out of the corner of my eye, and once I had arrived at the restaurant and was parked outside, I decided to call him back in case it was urgent.

 _'Please just be calling me to check up on me or something, please, please, please.'_ I thought as the beeping noise came from the speakers of my phone.

 _"Jennifer! Where have you been? I've been calling for at least 2 and a half hours now! Did you never think to pick up your phone?"_ He practically scolded me, and I brushed a curl from my face as I leaned my head back against the seat.

"I was in the shower and in a hurry to make it to my dinner date with Jamie. I've been working _all_ day and need a break." Fumbling with the steering wheel of my car, I desperately hoped he would just get to the point. The last thing I wanted to do today was explain to Jamie why I was late.

 _"Okay, well, I got another job for you."_ I held back a groan. _"You're going to have to fly to L.A for this one, Jennifer. It's a romantic comedy, and they think you're the perfect woman to do the job."_

I immediately thought of Jamie, and what he would think of this. He was currently filming another movie here in England, and there was no way he could come with me to L.A. But then my thoughts wandered to Josh, and my hopes of crossing his path in L.A were high. Suddenly, the idea of working another job wasn't so bad.

"Alright, when do I fly out?" I asked, obvious excitement in my voice. The thought of meeting Josh again after four years or nearly no contact was making me feel bubbly and excited inside.

 _"The day after tomorrow. Make sure you bring everything yo-"_

"Yes, yes. I'll remember to pack my underwear and toothbrush, mom." I joked lightly, and my agent chuckled gently on the other side of the line. "Alright, I _really_ need to go now, I've got a dinner date with Jamie in 2 minutes and I've been sitting in the parking lot talking to you for the past 5 minutes."

We said our good-byes, and I hung up the phone before storing it in my purse and getting out of the car. From outside the restaurant, I could already see Jamie through the window, waiting patiently at our reserved table, at which we sat every time we came here. I hurried inside before a flock of paparazzi could show up and snap too many pictures of me, and let the waitress know who I was with. Jamie immediately saw me come in, and as I approached him he got up and pressed a sweet kiss against my lips when I made it to the table.

"You look absolutely stunning," he said with a smile as we both sat down at the table, and a waitress gave us the menus and asked us which drinks we wanted. Jamie answered for the both of us, ordering a fine red wine that we always had when we came here. Still smiling softly, he reached across the table and squeezed my hands lightly.

"How was your day, love? Anything exciting happen?" Jamie asked, his attention completely on me.

"Actually, yeah," I said with a hint of excitement in my voice that caused Jamie to slightly raise his eyebrow. "My agent called me today, to let me know that I've got another movie to film."

There was a slight confused expression on Jamie's face. He knew that I hadn't been excited about filming movies lately, because it'd been stressful, especially since I had been filming 2 movies at the same time at one point and was always flying out to different locations.

"Well, this has to be a good movie, then, because you haven't been this excited about filming a movie in a few years now." He noted, smiling at the waitress as she placed our glasses of wine on the table and asked if we were ready to order our dinner.

"I'll have the Scandinavian Steak with potatoes." I said looking up at the woman. I had never seen her work here before; she was a beautiful blonde young woman, with large blue eyes and bright pink lips. I wondered if Jamie had found her attractive, but quickly dismissed the thought.

Jamie ordered the Salmon, before turning his attention back to me and patiently awaiting my answer.

"Yeah, I guess this might be good," I shrugged and leaned back in my chair, playing with the tablecloth. "I mean, it's a romantic comedy, and you know how much I love comedy." Laughing, I looked up at Jamie, but he didn't seem too amused about this. "I'm going to L.A the day after tomorrow to film it."

His expression quickly turned into a sad frown. I knew he wouldn't be too happy about this. Not once in the two years of our relationship would we be this far away from each other. Sure we've been in different countries while filming, but nothing further than Spain or Turkey.

"I assume you took the job then?" Jamie asked with a sad voice. I gave him a slow nod, looking at him with big eyes. "I'm happy for you, babes." His hand reached across the table again to squeeze mine.

I gave Jamie a light smile, knowing that he wasn't happy with my decision, but I knew he would support me no matter what. Soon, our dinner came, and we joked around and flirted while enjoying this rare one on one time. After dinner we ordered some alcoholic drinks and spoke about work, and the upcoming wedding.

It was around 8:30 when we decided that it was time to turn in. We both knew that it wasn't good to drive while just having alcohol, but the two of us only had one drink each and we felt completely okay to drive. Besides, our apartment was just a 10 minute drive from the restaurant. Outside of the restaurant, we kissed each other 'good-bye', even though we knew we would shortly see each other again, and got into our cars.

When we arrived at our apartment, we were greeted by a very excited Pippi whom I quickly took out so that she could do her business, and upon arriving back home I immediately stripped out of my dress and heels, before letting myself drop down into bed, and drifting off into a deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was spent mainly packing my things and getting all my things ready for the long flight I would have ahead of me tomorrow. I loved traveling, but I hated the long exhausting flights. It would take over at least 12 hours to get to L.A, and that is without any delays.

"Don't forget this, lovely." Jamie handed me a small framed picture of us, which I always took with me when I traveled out of the country. I gave him a smile and packed it into my suitcase, stuffing it between clothes to make sure that it was somewhat safe in there. I knew how rough people at the airport treated luggage, no matter whose it was. A year and a half ago when she traveled from Spain back to England, they had broken the frame this picture was originally in, but maybe that had been my fault since I packed the picture into the front pocket of my suitcase, without anything to protect the glass. Jamie had to get me a new frame.

"My plane leaves at 6 in the morning," I groaned, a little annoyed. "Which means it'll be… 10 PM today in L.A time? I think? I don't know, my math sucks." Jamie chuckled lightly at me and wrapped his arms around my waist, and I let myself fall back against his chest with a sigh.

"I'm going to miss you." He whispered into my neck, his breath tickling me gently. I felt so safe and warm in his arms. Nothing could replace this feeling. "You better call me every day, you hear me? Especially with that crazy time difference."

I turned in his grip and looked up at him. Jamie wasn't _that_ much taller than me, only about an inch or so, but I still had to slightly tilt back my head to look at him. He placed a kiss on my nose, making me blush, and I smiled lightly. "I'm taking Pippi, by the way. My family's probably going to see me in L.A and I know that Bear is going to want to see her." Bear, my nephew, absolutely adored my dog Pippi. Every time he saw me without her, the sweet little boy would ask where she was, and would be completely shattered when I told her that she was at home.

I released myself from Jamie's grip, shoving the last bits of clothing and other essentials into my suitcase. "Do you mind giving me a ride to the airport tomorrow morning?" Looking over at Jamie, I saw that he had my dog in his arms, giving her cuddles before clipping a leash to her collar. He nodded, and with a smile, left the apartment to take Pippi for her walk. Quickly grabbing my sweater, I called after him and jogged outside the apartment.

"I'll join you two," I said with a slight pant. "I don't want to miss a moment that I can spend with you. I'm going to be gone for ages."

My hand reached out for his as we stepped out into the cool, April weather. It was a cloudy day, which was the usual for London, and thankfully it wasn't raining. The wind blew my hair all over my face, and after getting slightly frustrated with getting it in my mouth over and over again, I pulled it up behind my head and wrapped a rubber band around my hair. _'Much better,'_ I thought as Jamie and I crossed the street to get to the park.

After some moments of comfortable silence, Jamie spoke up.

"So do you know who your co-star will be?" he rose an eyebrow as we sat down on the park bench, giving Pippi some leash so that she could do whatever a dog like her does. "I mean, it's a romantic comedy, so I'm sure you're gonna have a male co-star…"

I let out a laugh and looked at him. "You are totally jealous!" I scoffed with amusement, a hint of red sweeping across his cheeks.

Jamie kicked at the damp dirt. "Who wouldn't be? You're Jennifer god-damn Lawrence. Any man would be jealous if a girl had an ass like you." Jokingly, I punched his arm and pushed him a little.

"My ass is not that great." I argued, watching Pippi as she chased a squirrel around, only to be let down when it climbed up the tree and disappeared in the growing leaves. She barked at the tree for a moment, until I called for her and she came running to me with her tongue sticking out.

"Leave the squirrel be, Pip." I scooped her up into my lap, stroking my hands through her brown fur. "It's not gonna hurt you."

I felt Jamie's arm wrap around me just as a gust of wind blew right past us, causing Pippi to shiver in my arms. "We should get back to the apartment. My poor baby is freezing to death out here." Jamie nodded in agreement, and the three of us got up and began to make our way back home.

However, just outside of our apartment, was a crowd of paps already waiting for us. Groaning loudly, I looked at Jamie. "How the hell do they even know where the fuck we live?" I growled angrily. I didn't mind people taking pictures of me, not at all. I just didn't like it when they lingered around the places I lived. Recollecting my cool, we made our way across the street, smiled a little for the cameras, and headed into the building and up the stairs to our apartment.

Once behind locked doors, I was relieved. Pippi squirmed in my grasp and I gently set her down, unclipping the leash from her collar. She went scrambling for her water bowl while I collapsed on the sofa, only to find Jamie climbing on top of me, his arms on either side of me. I already knew what he wanted.

We fell into a deep kiss, and kissing turned into clothes getting thrown across the apartment. I don't remember how long we made love for, but it was past 6 in the evening when we finally came to a stop and realized that dinner needed to be made so that I could shower and get into bed.

Jamie quickly whipped up some delicious mac and cheese with hot dogs, while I stepped into the shower to wash off the body fluids and sweat from the hours we spent making love. I scrubbed my body good and hard, making sure that I smelled of nothing but vanilla and shea butter when I got out. Shampooing my hair, I hummed a song that I had heard on the radio in the car the day before but didn't know the name of, and then got out of the shower to dry off my body. I quickly dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a white tank top, brushed out my hair, letting it air dry as I walked out of the bathroom, only to be greeted by the smell of dinner. I didn't notice how hungry I was until then.

"I know it's just mac and cheese and hot dogs, but that smells _amazing_ right now," I laughed, sitting down at the little bar that connected the living room and the kitchen.

The two of us ate our dinner in silence, I figured that Jamie was upset about me leaving in the morning, and we go to bed after washing up our plates in the sink.

As I laid in bed, I could feel Jamie coming closer and closer next to me until there was no air left between the two of us. His arm was wrapped around my stomach, pulling me into him, his face in my still damp hair. "Promise me you won't forget about me while you're there." He whispered into my ear, his fingers lightly digging into my stomach.

"I promise..." I managed to whisper back, hoping that he'd heard it, before I drifted into dream land.

The next morning was all a blur. I faintly remember waking up, still half asleep at 4 in the morning, with Jamie telling me what to do and where to go. Still in half sleep I looked down at my phone as I received a text from my agent, letting me know I'll be picked up at the airport in LA. I wasn't fully awake till we had arrived at the airport, my eyes still filled with sleep. Jamie pulled the luggage from the trunk and together we headed for the check-in. I was so grateful to have Jamie doing this, because if I had been here alone, I would have passed out on the nearest bench and missed my flight.

At the gate, the two of us said our good-byes, with lots of kisses and hugs involved, and I carried Pippi in her portable doggy carrier through the gate, showing the lady at the desk my ticket with a sleepy smile. Once I was seated in the plane, I laid back in my seat, closed my eyes, and dreamt of Jamie and my upcoming wedding. I didn't even wake up for dinner, and I love food.

I was woken again 8 hours later by a flight attendant, who informed me that we were getting ready to land and that I needed to buckle up, and fix my seat. Sleepily I did as she told me, and clung to Pippi's carrier as we landed.

Landing was always the worst part when flying. Whenever I flew somewhere with my Hunger Games co-stars, Josh would be right next to me, holding my hand and calming me down as we landed. He knew how much I hated it. Looking to the right, I half expected for him to be sitting right next to me, with that goofy grin of his on his face, his hand reaching for mine. Instead, I had a lady reading some fancy magazine next to me. At least the thought of him had calmed me down a little bit.

When we landed at our first stop, I had to hurry through customs and get to my connecting flight, so that I wouldn't miss the flight to L.A. With Pippin in my arm, and her carrier in my hand, I boarded the smaller plane that would be taking me to L.A.

"Ma'am, excuse me, your dog needs to be in its carrier," A female voice said from behind, and I looked up to see an older woman with an annoyed expression on her face, who seemed to be a flight attendant.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. We just flew in from London, so I wanted to take her out for a few minutes." I quickly apologized, before putting Pippi back into her box to please the angry old woman, and as she passed I looked at my poor Pup in the carrier. "What a bitch." I grumbled to her.

Thankfully, the second flight wasn't as long as the last one. Since I missed dinner on the long flight, I had ordered a bag of Lay's chips, and quickly devoured them as if I hadn't eaten in three days.

"Oh dear god how I've missed these," I sighed happily, eating chip after chip. They had chips back in England, but over there they're called Walker's, and nowhere near as good as Lay's chips. With a beer, an _American_ beer, to wash down the dry chips, I stared out the window as the tiny landscape below me flew by.

I wondered who my co-star for the new movie might be, and figured that they probably chose someone hot, like Alex Pettyfer or Theo James, or maybe Zac Efron. Really, I didn't mind working with any of them, they all seemed like nice people; I was just worried about what Jamie would say. I hadn't worked on a romance movie at all since we became a thing, and hadn't kissed anyone but Jamie in the last 2 years. I could only hope that this movie wouldn't ruin our relationship.

I shook my head, freeing myself of these ridiculous thought. Jamie and I were engaged, and were to be married when I got back from L.A. He wouldn't leave me because of a movie.

Within the next hour or so, the plane began to descend just over the desert. Already dreading the landing, I once again wished that Josh could be here. I closed my eyes and thought of him holding my hand, which I found a little strange… why wasn't I thinking of Jamie being here, holding my hand and calming me down? Maybe because he'd never flown with me. Maybe because he didn't know that I didn't like the landing of planes.

When we were finally allowed to exit the aircraft, I let Pippi back out of her carrier and carried her in my arms until we reached the baggage claim, where I clipped on her leash and let her scuffle across the floor, occasionally barking at people. I chuckled to myself as I thought that maybe the people she barked at had drugs in their bags, and that she could make a good police dog.

I waited what seemed like eternity for the baggage claim to spit out my suitcase, and when I finally had it in my hands, I raced to the exit of the building, where my chauffeur was waiting for me, like my agent had said this morning. I gave him the suitcase, allowed Pippi to do her business that she'd been holding in since London, before getting into the car and driving off to set.


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to the location was quite long and there was nothing but awkward silence between me and the driver. I attempted to make conversation with him every not and then, like talking about how nice the weather was for April, or that I'd just had a long ass flights behind me, but without success. He only answered with short replies like 'yeah', or 'oh'. So I just gave up and stared out the window as trees, cars, and buildings buzzed by.

It wasn't until my phone vibrated in my lap that I looked away from the outside world and down at my phone. My agents number popped up on the screen, and I swiped the green phone icon across the screen to answer the call.

"Hello?" I said softly, almost as if I was scared to wake someone up.

 _"Hey Jen, I was just calling to check up on you. Was your flight alright?"_ he asked, and I nodded before realizing that he couldn't see.

"Yeah it was fine. I slept through most of it; I even missed dinner!" I laughed into the phone, and I could hear my manager chuckle lightly in return.

"Let your agent know that we're about five minutes away from the location," said the driver unexpectedly, almost making me jump a little bit. I let my agent know what the driver had said, and he let me know that the director of the new movie was David O. Russell, which sparked an excitement deep inside of me. David had directed 'Silver Linings Playbook', for which I won my first Oscar back in 2012. It seemed like ages ago.

With a quick 'good-bye' we hung up the phone. That's when I remembered that I hadn't called Jamie at all, let alone texted him, to let him know that I was safe and almost at the set. I quickly opened up my messaging app, typed up a sentence or two, and hit the send button. It wasn't much later when I received an answer from him.

 _'Glad you're well, I was beginning to worry. Call me tomorrow morning LA time, I miss your beautiful voice. I love you xx'_

Butterflies fluttered around my stomach as a smile spread across my face. I felt like the luckiest woman on Earth when Jamie called me beautiful, or said the words 'I love you'. I loved it when he held me tight at night, and gently rubbed my back to help me fall asleep. He was the love of my life, and I was going to marry him soon. Nothing would ever change my feelings towards him.

When we arrived at the filming location, I was immediately greeted by the April warmth of L.A and placed Pippi on the floor. The driver got out my suitcase and I took it from him, before heading into the set and looking for a trailer with mine on it. Next to it, there was another trailer with no name tag on it yet. I wondered if they had even cast my co-worker yet, but then again why would they have me come so early if he wasn't cast yet?

To my luck, the trailer was opened, and I quickly headed inside where I collapsed on my bed, and Pip followed me close behind, cuddling up next to my stomach. I stroked my fingers through her fur, staring up at the ceiling. I was really dying to know to know who I would be working with. Finally knowing who the director was, calmed my nerves a bit at least. David was a brilliant director and I loved working on Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, and Joy with him and Bradley Cooper, who was my co-star in all three of those movies.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Bradley Cooper was going to be my co-star, who else would he choose? Bradley and I had amazing on-screen chemistry and we were great friends.

"Pippi, I'm gonna be working with Bradley freakin' Cooper! Remember him?" I squealed at her as I sat up in my bed and gave her a light squeeze, which she answered with a huff. Just then, there was a knock on my door and David O. Russell walked into my trailer, a bright smile on his face as he spotted me with my dog in my lap, and I couldn't help but return the smile as I got up to hug him.

"Oh my god it's so great to see you," I chimed as we released each other, brushing a strand of hair from my face. He'd certainly gotten older. "How old are you now? 80? 81?" I laughed, and he threw his head back in laughter.

"You haven't changed a bit," David chuckled gently, throwing an arm around my shoulders as we excited the trailer, leaving Pippi in the trailer. "Still silly ol' Jen."

Leaning my head back a little to soak in the warm L.A sun. It was already quite warm out, and it was only late April. This was what I missed about America. No cold winds this time in the year, no daily rainy clouds. I couldn't help but think of the hot summer days I used to spend filming The Hunger Games movies with Josh and Liam, especially filming Catching Fire in Hawaii where it was always so hot and humid and sticky. I was always relieved to take a cold shower when we were done filming, and could rinse myself of all the sweat and sand that had accumulated under and on my jumpsuit during filming.

"So I'm guessing that you already have an idea of who your co-star will be?" said David, pulling me from my warm thoughts of Hawaii as we entered a Studio building, heading straight towards the table with all the food and drinks on it. This is why I loved filming movies so much; there was always free food.

Nodding at him as I stuffed a chocolate glazed donut in my mouth, I gave him a smile and somehow managed to get the name "Bradley Cooper" past the donut bits before swallowing it, and grabbing two more donuts. David didn't say anything to me in return, only winked and gave me a wide grin, and I couldn't help but grin back at him. I hadn't seen Bradley in a while, and I was so excited to finally work with him again.

When I had devoured the other two donuts, I sat down on a set chair and looked over at David, who was talking to a camera man as they worked out a few scenes together. "When's Bradley getting here?" I asked curiously, pulling my feet up on the cushioned chair. "If he doesn't get here too late maybe we'll go out for lunch. I haven't had food in so looooooooong." I threw my head back and placed a hand on my tummy with a groan.

David looked over at me and shrugged, looking down at the rolex watch around his wrist. "Well, it's 12:45 now, he said he'd arrive at roughly 2, since he was out of state."

Figuring I could sit through the hunger for roughly another hour, I pushed myself up out of the comfortable chair and started heading towards my trailer to take Pippi for a walk. We probably wouldn't be filming until tomorrow anyways, so I figured I might waste my time walking around in L.A, and visiting the places that I'd missed all these years of living in England. My first stop would be the coffee shop just a couple of blocks from here. I had spent many days here with Josh whenever we were in L.A together, sipping on our coffees or hot chocolates and nibbling on biscuits and delicious pastries. Afterwards we would go take Driver and Pippi for a walk in the doggie park, before turning in for the day.

Walking down the sunny streets of Los Angeles, I noticed man people gasping and reacting to my presence. By now I was used to it, and I always loved taking photos with fans. I remembered two years ago at the premiere of one of my movies, a girl about 16 years of age was crying oceans of tears when I came to talk to her, and signed a picture of me that she had drawn herself. I remember asking her why she was crying, and her only response being that she loved me. Meeting fans was the best thing about acting. Therefore, I didn't mind all the people that stopped me on the street that day, wanting to take pictures and getting my autograph.

It was at least 1:30 by the time I had arrived at the café, drank my coffee, and had a pastry with pudding on the inside, and I realized that I should head back to set if I wanted to be there when Bradley arrived. Pushing myself up out of the wooden chair, I tossed my trash into a trash can located at the exit of the café, and left with Pippi leading the way.

Still getting stopped by a couple of fans on the way back to set, I was very eager to get back, just in case Bradley would arrive early and I really wanted to be there when he did. We hadn't seen each other since the tour or our last movie we did together, Joy, but he would send me little postcards whenever he traveled, and the postcards turned into pictures of him and his son around summer time last year, when his wife gave birth to their beautiful baby boy, Brooklyn. Since he and his wife lived back in Bradley's home town, Philadelphia, the chances of Brooklyn being with Bradley today were low. A little disappointed, I pulled my sunglasses down on my face and began to walk faster.

I had just made it to the set when the clock hit exactly 2 o'clock, when David greeted me at the gate.

"He just called, he's running a couple of minutes late," he explained, noticing my sinking expression. "I told him that you were starving and wanted to go out for lunch. He told me to tell you to get ready so that the two of you can leave when he gets here."

Nodding lightly, I disappeared into my trailer, wondering why Bradley was in such a hurry. It's not like we were only going to see each other for tonight.

 _'Maybe he's hungry, too.'_ I thought to myself with a shrug, as I pulled on a black skirt with a flower pattern on it, and a black some-what lacy top over it. I was just tucking the hem of my top into my skirt when there was a knock on my trailer door, and my face lit up. I knew it was Bradley. "Come in!" I shouted.

The door opened slowly, a head peeked through the half open door, but it was not the face that I was expecting. I froze abruptly and my heart sunk to my stomach as I realized who was standing there in front of me.

Noticing that I was completely baffled and speechless, he spoke up.

"You look like you just saw a ghost, Jen. Close your mouth," Josh said as he stepped into my trailer, pushing my mouth closed for me before pulling me into a tight hug.


	4. Chapter 4

My arms instantly wrapped around his neck, his strong, muscular arms around my waist. I couldn't believe what was happening, who was standing in front of me, who I was hugging. It had been too long, way too long, since I last hugged him like this. It had been nearly 4 years since I last heard his voice while I was in the same room as him. Nearly 4 years since I'd seen his face in person, instead of it being printed on a magazine or on a TV screen.

Completely overwhelmed by this, tears uncontrollably rolled down my face and I sniffled. We stood there hugging for what seemed like ages, until Josh pulled away to wipe away the tears. Pippi was jumping up our legs, her nails lightly scratching my bare legs, but I didn't care. Josh Hutcherson was standing in front of me.

"Wow are you really that upset about seeing me?" he said jokingly, and I pushed his shoulder with a laugh as I wiped away another tear.

"I'm guessing that Bradley Cooper isn't my co-star, then?" I asked, and when he nodded I shook my head. "Damn."

"What makes you think he's your co-star?" Josh laughed, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of Dasani water. He leaned against the counter of the small trailer kitchen, twisted open the cap and took a sip of it before looking back over at me with slightly raised eyebrows.

"Well, each one of David's movies that I've been in, Bradley was my co-star," I shrugged my shoulders and slumped down on the bed, crossing my legs. "Plus no one told me who my co-star was gonna be, and when I asked David if it was Bradley he just smiled so…"

"So you jumped to conclusions?" Josh laughed lightly as he dropped down onto his back next to me, his arms crossed behind his head. I couldn't help but notice his muscly arms, and I turned to lay down on my stomach next to Josh, my head next to his when I pressed my finger against a vein protruding out of his arm.

"Well I definitely didn't expect you here, you big goof." I rolled my eyes at him, pulling my finger from his vein and watching it pop back out immediately. "Can we go get lunch now? I got all prettied up for Bradley Cooper only to be letdown. I don't wanna miss out on some food as well."

Josh laughed and made an O shape with his mouth, but he couldn't keep it on for long as he smiled. "How rude. I thought you'd be genuinely happy to see me."

I propped myself up on my hands and looked at Josh, my hair falling back over my shoulders and lightly tickling my arms. "Of course I'm happy to see my best friend," getting up off the bed, I pulled him up with me, standing awfully close to him when he was on his feet, but I didn't mind. We'd been closer when we filmed Mockingjay. "I don't care if we haven't seen or spoken to each other in years. My feelings haven't changed. You're still that annoying little brother that I never wanted. Because I already have two older ones." I ruffled my hand through his hair, causing him to frown and quickly fix his hair.

"Put shoes on, your feet smell, and we're leaving now." Josh said, letting Pippi out of the trailer. I was about to protest and tell him to catch her, when I remembered that we were on a fenced off property, and there was no way she was escaping it with all the people around. Besides, Josh probably had Driver running around on set, and she behaved a little better when he was around.

I pulled on a pair of simple black flats to match the rest of my outfit, and jumped out the trailer, stumbling when my feet hit the ground. Josh's hand were quick to catch me and make sure that I wouldn't faceplant the gravel. The last thing I needed now was a scraped up face.

"Whew," I laughed, my hair hanging all over my face when I managed to regain my balance and Josh let go of me. "Still clumsy as hell. That sure hasn't changed."

He shook his head and gave me a crooked grin, that oddly made my stomach feel weak. Pushing the thought of that feeling to the back of my head, I linked arms with him and we headed towards the gate.

"Wait, which car are we taking?" I asked, remembering that I had been picked up by someone at the airport. "Because I don't have one."

Josh pointed over to the blue motorcycle that stood parked across the street, and I looked at him in excitement. I'd only ridden on the bike once with him back in Kentucky, but that one time was a blast. At the time he only had one helmet, and since the idiot was more concerned about my safety than his own, he made me wear the helmet while we sped down the interstate and drove around Louisville.

Letting go of Josh's arm, I raced across the street and immediately sat down on the still hot motorcycle, making sure my skirt was tucked under my behind so that it wouldn't flutter behind me in the wind and everyone driving behind me could get a good glimpse of the red thong that I was wearing that day.

Josh placed a black helmet on my head that he pulled from the seat compartment, and then put on his own helmet and clipped it together under my chin.

"Can you help me close this thing? Last time I did it, I caught my chin fat in the clip and it hurt like a bitch," I laughed, holding the strings of the helmet in both of my hands.

Josh turned to me and helped me carefully secure the helmet on my head, his hands as gentle as ever. I looked at his brown eyes, his long eyelashes, which were fixed on his hands to make sure that he didn't get my chin fat stuck between the clips again. Once I heard the 'click', which signaled that the helmet was secure and we were ready to go, I smiled at Josh. "Thank you."

He nodded once, returning the smile, before turning around again and climbing onto the motorcycle. I wrapped my arms around his waist like I did the first time I was on his motorcycle, scooting my butt a bit forwards so that his butt kept the front of my skirt a bit in place, and leaned my chin against his shoulder. With one mighty kick, the motorcycle roared to life, and we drove off to get lunch together.

I wasn't sure where we were headed at first, but I quickly recognized the path he was taking. We drove to the edge of Los Angeles, where our favorite Mexican restaurant/bar was located. Years ago, for Liam's birthday, we rented out the entire place for Karaoke night with our friends and families. That night Josh and I sang the song 'MMMbop' by Hanson together, in front of every person there. The two of us knew the entire song by heart. We even danced to it.

When we arrived at the restaurant and we climbed off the motorcycle, I flattened out my skirt with my hands and handed the helmet to Josh, before straightening out my hair as well. Together we walked inside, and were seated by an older, brunette woman. The two of us ordered drinks, a Dr. Pepper for me and a Coca Cola for him, and then we just sat in silence for a moment, examining the room. Looking at Josh, I could see a large grin spread across his face and I followed his eyes to see what he was looking at.

There was a slightly elevated stage across the room where the bar was located, with two microphones and a screen between them set up, so that whoever was singing knew exactly what lyrics to sing.

I knew exactly what Josh was thinking. I knew exactly that he was remembering that night we stood on top of that stage, singing our hearts out together. He was grinning to himself, his eyes a little glazed over and I spoke up to pull his gaze from the stage and on me.

"You remember that night too?" I asked gently, obviously already knowing the answer, but I wanted to hear what he thought of it.

Josh nodded, looking at me with bright eyes, looking a little nostalgic. "Of course I do. It was for Liam's birthday the year we finished Mockingjay. We sang MMMbop in front of all our families and friends. I mean, we were drunk, but I definitely remember it as if it happened yesterday." Josh leaned back in his seat, looking back up at the stage, and then looking back at me with a bright grin.

"Oh, no, no, no, Josh. No. I'm not doing that. I'm not drunk this time." I laughed at him, holding up my hands in protest as I knew what was coming next.

"Alright, we'll order drinks then, and once we're tipsy we'll go up there and sing," excitement sparked in his eyes as he spoke. Josh was never the one to be shy about singing and making a fool of himself. "We'll make a game out of it. We go up there individually, and whoever gets the fewest tips while they're up there, loses."

Rolling my eyes at him, I agreed to take on his challenge. I couldn't let him hanging. "Alright. But the winner gets a nice back and foot rub from the loser." I said, and Josh held out his hand and we shook on it.

When dinner came, the two of us shared one giant burrito for two people, Josh ordered two shots of Tequila for the both of us. He knew that this would get me started right away, since I usually got quite tipsy after just one of them. The waitress immediately returned with four shot glasses on a wooden plate, placing them on the table in front of us before disappearing into the kitchen again.

We reached for the shot glasses, looked each other in the eyes, before saying 'cheers' and gulping down the brown liquid.

It immediately burned in my throat and I gagged, sticking my tongue out of my mouth and quickly covering it with my hand. "Oh my god that was fucking awful," I laughed with a harsh cough, and Josh couldn't help but laugh at my reaction. Kicking him under the table, I quickly downed the other shot and slammed the little glass on the table. "You're on now. Watch me kick your ass."

"Oh I would _love_ to see you try," Josh said as he, too, finished his second shot. "We both sing the same song."

"Believe by Cher." I quickly blurted out, before Josh could suggest any other song. He seemed completely okay with the choice of the song, because he stuck out his hand, and I shook it firmly, before pushing myself out of the booth and up towards the stage, trying hard not to fall on my face as I stepped up on the wooden panels. I grabbed the microphone, and cleared my voice.

"Alright you guys, my buddy Josh and I are having a little competition here," I said, looking around to see if I had gotten everyone's attention. "And before anyone says anything, yes, I am in fact tipsy. I realize that it is only 2 PM. But no way in hell would I have gone up here without having a drink or two." A few people in the crowd chuckled, their phones at the ready, and as I looked over at Josh I couldn't help but feel a bit woozy when I noticed that crooked grin of his. "Anyways, we're both going to sing Believe by Cher, and whoever gets the most tips out of the two of us, wins!" I let out a loud cheer, and whoever was in charge of the karaoke machine played the song that I would be singing.

Even though I was tipsy, I still felt a little nervous being up there. I hated singing in front of anyone that wasn't myself, my family, Josh or Liam. None of them minded my random outbursts of singing. And most of the time, they would join in with me.

I started to move my body with the beat of the music, my skirt swinging back and forth, and I began to sing the song, my eyes always fixed on Josh. If I didn't take them off of him, I wouldn't notice all the people around me. I could pretend that it was just me and him having some fun.

By the time the song ended, I was a little sweaty and my throat slightly achy, but it was worth it. Somebody had placed a glad at the end of the stage by my feet, and I could see that it was filled with tips to the point where the money almost fell out. I quickly thanked the audience and headed towards my booth where Josh was waiting for me, but not without tripping and falling to my knees on my way down from the stage. I raised my hand and shouted that I was alright, before pulling myself up on a nearby table and then sitting down across from Josh in the booth with a smile on my face.

"Well done," he clapped his hands together lightly, a smug look on his face. "But now watch and learn as the master does it." Josh grabbed his glass from the table, which earlier still had Coca Cola in it, and walked over to the stage where he placed the glass and then stood behind the mic. The music began to play, and Josh began working his magic.

He didn't have the _best_ voice, but it certainly wasn't the worst voice out there. His eyes were glued to mine the entire time, just as mine had been when I was up there. Maybe he was just making sure that I wasn't putting extra money from my own purse into my glass.

The boy was completely into it. He would gesture to me every now and then, probably pretending to be some famous rock star up there. He pulled grimaces that made me laugh, and went down to his knees at the high parts, his head thrown back as he attempted to hit the high notes but missed them by about 3 feet. My smiles and giggles turned into laughter, which was uncontrollable by the time he'd finished and returned to our booth I felt as if I was about to pee myself.

"I… I'm gonna fucking peeeeeee," I laughed as I doubled over and held my stomach. "Please he-help me. I'm gonna fucking pee myself."

Josh let out a laugh, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not sure what you want me to do here, Jen. Just hold it."

I sat there for another good minute, giggling to myself as I tried not to wet myself, before I finally managed to race to the bathroom and pee. When I washed my hands in the white sink, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was visibly read from all the laughing, and my hair was sticking out in all kinds of crazy angles. I brushed my wet hands through my curls to flatten them a bit, splashed some water in my face and exited the bathroom.

Josh was silently counting the money in his glass when I returned, and looked up at me with a triumphant grin as I sat down. "23 dollars and 50 cents." He said proudly, spreading his tip out on the wooden table so I could count them for myself.

I dumped out my own glass and began to count.

"30 dollars and 5 cents. Booyah, motherfucker. I win, you lose. Suck my ass, you owe me a massage, loser." I said with a laugh, crossing my arms across my chest with a sly grin on my face.

Josh buried his face in his hands with a laughing groan. "Nooo! And I was so sure I'd win," he laughed, dropping his hands on the table.

"Stop the whining, let's get back so that I can get that massage," I rolled my shoulders and cracked my neck. "I'm so tense from all that flying."

Getting up from the booth, the two of us left our tips for our waitress and headed to the front desk to pay for our meal, when we realized that Josh was in no condition to ride his motorcycle. The waitress kindly called a taxi for us, and allowed Josh to keep the motorcycle in their parking lot overnight, as long as he would come pick it up in the morning. We didn't have to wait long for our taxi, and once we both were seated in the back seat, I leaned my head against Josh's shoulder with a yawn and held my stomach with my hand as I began to feel a bit sick. Driving after I'd just had alcohol wasn't a good idea.

"You alright bub?" Josh asked as he noticed that I wasn't feeling too well, brushing a strand of my hair from my face. Throughout the years, Josh learned how I acted when I was feeling a certain way, and was always the first to comfort me when he was there.

I shook my head. "I feel so fuckin' sick. I should not have had that damn tequila," I groaned. "Are we almost there?"

Josh looked up and out the window, before nodding his head and quietly answering with 'yes'.

Once we had arrived back at the set and we were in front of my trailer, I quickly swung my door open and raced to my small bathroom, where I just managed to lift the lid of the toilet before the tequila came up again, causing me to puke all the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

Josh was following me close behind, holding my hair up out of my face and rubbing my back as I vomited. This wasn't a first for us. After a premiere party for the first Hunger Games movie I got drunk as well, and he was the one to hold back my hair and had a glass of water at the ready for when I got it all out of my system.

I was sat there for a good 10 minutes, which was surprising because I didn't think the tequila would affect me as much, but since I hadn't had anything strong like this in years, my body probably completely rebelled against it. I cleaned up my face, brushed my teeth, drank a few sips from the tall glass of water Josh held out for me, and then proceeded to plop face-down onto my bed. Footsteps approached the bed, and I felt Josh sit down on the bed next to me, sliding his hand up my shirt which had untucked itself from my skirt while I was on the bathroom floor, and proceeded to gently rub my back.

"Maybe that massage can wait, hm?" Josh said softly, his hand still tracing along my spine and sending shivers through my whole body. At the back of my head, I thought to myself that I shouldn't be allowing this. That if Jamie were here, none of this would be happening. If Jamie knew about any of this, he would go berserk. But I was too worn out for any of that.

After a while, I could feel Josh lay down beside me, his hand never leaving my back. My eyes were closed, and I didn't want to open them. I was afraid of what might happen if I did. He was clearly still drunk, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

The softs rubs on my back calmed me down slowly, and I was drifting in and out of sleep when I felt a pair of lips press against my forehead.

I faintly remember whispering the words, "I love you, Jamie..." before finally falling asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The next time I looked at the clock, it was 6:30 in the evening and I felt groggy as fuck. I propped myself up on my elbows, looking around my trailer I saw that someone had let Pippi back inside while I slept, who was laying on the sofa, resting her head on her paws. I let myself fall back down on the bed, before realizing that someone was lying next to me, snoring almost so quiet that I couldn't hear it.

Josh's lips were slightly parted, his eyes closed, and his chest slowly moving up and down. I reached out to stroke a strand of hair from his hair, but quickly pulled away when I realized what I was doing. I was glad that my phone vibrated, because if I had sat there staring at Josh for another minute I knew I would've done something that I would regret afterwards.

Seeing Jamies name on the screen made my heart drop to my stomach. I felt as if he knew about everything that happened earlier today. But why was I feeling so fucking guilty? Josh was my best friend. My little brother. That was it.

Answering the phone, I quickly left the trailer to make sure that I didn't wake Josh.

"Hey babe," I said, trying my best to keep the worry out of my voice. "I thought you weren't calling 'till tomorrow morning?"

 _"I just missed your voice so damn much I couldn't stop myself. Sorry if I caught you in the middle of something."_

I shook my head. "No, I was just napping, actually…" the door to my trailer opened and I looked up to see Josh's head peeking out, his eyes half open and still filled with sleep. I could feel a warmth grow across my face and I quickly directed my eyes to my bare feet on the gravel.

 _"Napping?"_ Jamie laughed. God, I missed his laugh so much. _"I take it you're not too busy filmind that new movie of yours, then? Do you know who your co-star is?"_

 _'Fuck.'_ I thought.

I knew Jamie would find out who I was working with eventually, but I wasn't ready to tell him. Jamie wasn't too fond of Josh, I never had any idea why because he never wanted to speak with me about it, and whenever Josh came up in a conversation he would go awfully quiet so I learned to avoid Josh in our conversations. But I wasn't going to lie to him; it was only going to make things worse.

"Well," I said with slight hesitation as Josh sat down on the stairs of my trailer and I crossed my free arm over my chest. "No one fucking told me who it was going to be, so, since David O. Russell is directing this movie, I figured that Bradley Cooper was going to be my co-star because we'd worked together on every other god damn movie. Buuuuut, as it turns out," I looked down at Josh, who gave me a very bright smile. "Josh is my co-star."

There was a short silence on the line, followed by a small 'oh.'

 _"Josh Hutcherson?"_ he asked, curiosity in his voice.

"The one and only," I laughed gently, rubbing my arm as a breeze blew past. "But yeah, anyway babe, I need to go and talk to David about filming and all that good shit."

I heard Jamie sighing lightly. _"Alright gorgeous. Enjoy the rest of your day and have fun working. I love and miss you bunches."_

"You too, handsome. I love you and miss you too. Talk to you soon." I pressed the large red button that hung up the call, and awkwardly slid my phone into my back pocket before turning on my heel in the gravel and looking down at Josh, who raised an eyebrow at me as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Were you ever going to tell me about Jamie?" he asked, laying a hand on Driver's head and giving him a good scratch when he came running over. I avoided his eyes and looked down at the grey pitbull.

"I figured you already saw it on the news or in some shit magazine at a store," I argued, sitting down on the step next to him. I should've told him about Jamie last night. It was only fair to him, he was my best friend after all. And after what happened last night… of course I felt like shit. "I fucking wanted to tell you, Josh, but I didn't know how."

"If this is about hurting my feelings, Jen, just stop. You're not going to hurt my feelings because you're dating, sorry, because you're engaged to another guy." Out of the corner of my eyes I could see that he was looking at my face, trying to predict what I was thinking or going to say next. "Look, whatever feelings I had for you, whatever we felt for each other when we were filming the Hunger Games movies together, it's obviously gone. I get that. Just don't keep secrets from me because you're afraid they might hurt me."

I turned my head to look at him as he mentioned the feelings we 'had' for each other. Was that really supposed to be past tense? If he didn't have any damn feelings for me anymore, why did he slip his hand under my shirt to rub my back? It would've been perfectly fine if his hand had been over my shirt. Maybe he was just trying to be a good friend.

And if my feelings are supposedly 'gone', why did I repeatedly catch myself staring at him?

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you," I said quietly, looking down at his hands as he scratched Driver behind the ear. "Honestly, I tried telling you last night, but after we played that game and everything just happened and I fucking forgot, man."

Josh threw an arm around my shoulder, looking up at the setting sun. The sky was already beginning to turn a soft pink shade. "Just friends, Jen. Like we'd always been." His words made me sit and think for a moment, because what he said felt wrong. We weren't always _just_ friends.

It was a memory that I'd pushed to the very back of my mind and forced myself to almost forget. And it flashed before my eyes like a movie.

Suddenly I'm back at the beach in Hawaii, Josh and I sitting in the sand next to each other, still wearing out wetsuits from filming that day. He had the top part of his hanging loosely around his waist, exposing his anchor tattoo that I'd always adored. Our feet were buried in the sand, the water washing over them every now and then, and the sun that had painted a beautiful sunset across the sky was almost gone for the day. We had spent all day filming scenes for Catching fire in the humid Hawaiian weather, and by the end of the day, both of us were fucking exhausted.

"I love this time of day. Sunsets are so fucking gorgeous," I breathed as I stared at the sky. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Josh had been watching me while my eyes were fixed on the red and pink colours that left me in awe.

"You're fucking gorgeous."

The words were silent, and I don't think he intended for me to hear what he said, but I couldn't stop myself from looking at him so fast I swear I had whiplash. "What did you say?" I asked, my eyes wide and my eyes raised. I knew exactly what he'd said, but _fuck_ , I needed to hear it again. The words made my stomach explode into a million butterflies.

"I said you're fucking gorgeous." Josh repeated again, only louder this time. He either did intend for me to hear it, or knew that he was busted either way and just said it a little louder.

Not knowing how to react, I just stared at him, and that when his hand reached up to my cheek, before his lips gently pressed against mine. Shocked but content with his actions, I placed my hand on his leg and kissed him back.

"Helloooo? Earth to Jennifer?" I was snapped out of my memory when Josh called my name and waved his hand in front of my face with a laugh. Noticing the lost look on my face when my eyes met his, he raised his eyebrows. "What?"

Breaking eye contact, I shook my head. "Nothing," attempting to quickly get out of the moment, I jumped up and returned to my trailer, making sure that I wouldn't hit Josh in the head with the door, where I grabbed a bottle of cool out of the fridge. I hoped to fucking god that he wouldn't follow me into the trailer, but that was exactly what he did. The door swung open, and Josh entered.

"What were you thinking about out there? You completely shut me out. Must've been something nice." He said, dropping down on my sofa with a very low 'thud', before Pippi crawled into his lap and begged for belly rubs.

I let out a little scoff as I brought the bottle of up to my mouth and took a drink of it. _'In fact, it was very nice.'_ I honestly couldn't believe what I was thinking, and mentally cursed at myself for the thoughts I was having.

Quickly making up an excuse while I had a mouth full of soda and couldn't speak, I shut the bottle, swallowed the liquid and sat up on my kitchen counter.

"I was thinking of Jamie. We're getting married when we're done with this film," I looked at him to see what his reaction would be to my reply, but instead of seeming upset he gave me a wide grin.

"Yeah I heard about the engagement on TV," Josh spread his arms out on the back of the sofa and stretched his legs. "I'm happy for you, Jen. I really am."

A sinking feeling spread out in the pit of my stomach, but I forced myself to gently smile back at him. Why was I feeling all of this? Why was I so upset with him being happy about my engagement? He was my best friend. Nothing more, he said it himself. But did I believe it? Did I want to be _just_ best friends, or did I want more? The confusion of my own feelings made me feel so dizzy I nearly fell off the counter.

"You alright there, clumsy?" Josh laughed, getting up off the sofa as if to get ready to catch me in case I fell again.

"Yeah yeah, just… dizzy from that fucking hangover. That damn tequila fucked me over, dude." I laughed and let myself slide off the counter before I could fall again. "You wanna go talk to David and see what the deal is? With filming and everything."

Josh nodded, before heading out the trailer. I picked up Pippi with an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, before following Josh outside and closing the door behind me.


	6. Chapter 6

Most of what David said, I didn't even hear. My thoughts were scattered everywhere. From Josh, the kiss, to Jamie and our wedding. Every now and then I would hear my name, followed by a description of a scene that we'd film. All of a sudden I didn't want to do this movie anymore. I hadn't signed any contract yet and I was still free to run away, go back to London, and never come back. Josh was the reason I hadn't done so already. Something kept me drawn to him, and I had this annoying feeling about him in my stomach.

 _'Maybe, if I just interact with him while filming, things will change.'_ I thought over and over again, only the idea of ignoring him in private making me feel sick. Josh was my best friend. I couldn't ignore him like this.

But Jamie was my fiancé, and we were to be married. I couldn't afford this whirl storm of emotions. I wanted someone to talk to about all of this, someone I know who might understand, and then Woody's face popped up in the back of my mind. He was always the one to know what was going on. He was the one I went to about the kiss between me and Josh back in Hawaii. I could trust him not to tell anyone.

When Josh and I had finished speaking with David, I told Josh that I was turning in for the day. We said our good-nights, and I disappeared into my trailer, locking the door shut behind me.

I reached for my phone that I had left behind on the counter, opened my phone book and clicked on Woody's name. There was a short silence before the beeping began, and I didn't reach more than his voicemail.

 _"It's Woody, you know what to do."_ Spoke his familiar, but sadly recorded voice, and was followed by a long beep.

"Hey Woody, it's Jen. I'm back in beautiful fucking L.A to film a movie with Josh and I'm having some trouble lately that I can't talk about with anyone but you. Call me back, fucker." I hung up the phone and tossed it on my bed with a half groan, half scream as I let myself drop face-first onto my bed. Josh and Jamies faces flashed before my eyes, as if something deep inside me was making me choose.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and cry and run away all at the same fucking time. This wasn't fucking fair. Out of all the people in the world, why the fuck did I have to grow feelings again for my best friend, when I'm engaged to the love of my life?

I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands in an attempt to get their faces out of my mind. Stripping myself of all my clothes, I headed for my bathroom to take a cold shower. Turning the tap on and stepping under the freezing water, I let out a loud gasp as the water hit my skin and sent instant chills through my entire body. Once my entire body was submerged under the stream of water, the coldness subsided and I began to lather my body in my vanilla body wash, scrubbing harder and harder with every movement of my hand, as if I was attempting to wash away the feelings I'd been having. But none of that worked.

When I finished my shower and was wrapped in a fluffy white towel, I switched on the television and flipped through the channels. Pippi joined me when I crawled on my bed, laying on the covers, and she snuggled her head into my towel while I scratched her head. After a while, I felt myself drift off into sleep again.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror that stood in front of me. I was wearing a white wedding gown, with a beaded sweetheart top and a body hugging, semi lacy skirt. My curly hair was up in a bun, curls hanging loosely down the side of my head and tickling my red cheeks. This was my day. This was the day I would marry the love of my life.

I saw my mother approach me from behind, hanging a beautiful old pearl necklace around my neck that she had worn when she got married to my dad.

"You look beautiful," she said, trying to keep her calm, but I could hear the slight crack in her voice and see the tears well up in her eyes. "I'm so proud of you, Jennifer. You did good."

Turning, I wrapped my arms around my mother's neck and hugged her tightly, trying hard not to cry myself. I was a fucking sucker for these kinds of moments.

Hearing the door open, I look up to see who it was, and smiled brightly as my father's head peeked through the door. I knew what this meant. He was ready to walk me down the aisle to my soon-to-be husband.

Without another word, my mother hurried down to take her seat, and my dad and I interlocked arms, heading down the stairs of a beautiful, old Victorian home, and into the backyard where what seemed to be a million white roses stood in pots, vases, and were wrapped around chairs. The music started to play, and I could see Jamie's pale blonde hair glistening in the afternoon sun. I felt as if my heart was about to beat out of my chest when I made my way down the aisle with my daddy.

We were almost at the altar, when I noticed that Jamie was a bit shorter than usual, but I didn't give it any second thoughts. It was simply because I was wearing heels.

However, when I stood in front of him and we joined hands, it suddenly wasn't Jamie who was looking at me anymore. It was Josh, the happiest grin on his face that I had ever seen.

I sat up straight as a pole in my bed when I woke from my dream, letting out short but loud gasps. I was in a cold sweat, and had thrown the towel off of my body in my sleep.

Pulling my knees up to my face and running my hands through my hair, I tried to calm my breathing and closed my eyes.

"What the fuck is going on, man." I growled to myself, my fingers digging into my scalp. "I don't wanna be like this. I don't want to feel this anymore."

I wasn't sure why, but hot tears began to roll down my face as I rocked back and worth, crying silently into the night. Pippi was there immediately to comfort me, nudging my elbow with her cold nose, and I laid my hand on her head while I cried and cried.

I felt so guilty. I felt as if I was betraying Jamie because of my feelings towards Josh. I wanted to find some way to control them, or to make them go away, but there was nothing I could do.

Even back when I first felt like this for Josh, I couldn't make them go away. We'd agreed not to make any of it public and not become a couple, but the feelings didn't go away no matter how hard I had tried. In the end, the only thing that helped me get rid of those feelings was the distance between us. Perhaps those feelings never really disappeared in the first place, and I only pushed them into the back of my mind when I went to London and got together with Jamie.

Pulling my towel back over my body to cover myself, I walked to my bathroom to splash water in my face and brush my teeth. In the bathroom, I stared at the reflection staring back at me. My eyes were puffy and red, and my hair was a complete mess, sticking out at all kinds of odd angles. When I was done in the bathroom, I pulled out a pair of yoga pants from my suitcase, put on a sports bra and a grey tank top and a pair of running shoes, before heading out of my trailer.

It was just 5 minutes past 6, and people would slowly start to wake up, but I needed to get out. Tying my damp, messy hair back behind my head into a bun, I began to slowly jog out of the set, and headed towards the park. Running was my way of getting my mind cleared. My way of calming myself down when everything was spinning and I had no idea what to do next.

To my luck, there weren't too many people out and about yet, and I could freely jog through the park and stop to stretch at a bench. The air was cold and slightly wet, and I could see that it must have rained during the night, because the gravel was still damp and there were water droplets on the grass. I didn't mind the cold. The cold kept me from stopping too long and allowing my body to cool down.

"I have to try and keep my god damn distance," I panted softly to myself as I began to make my way back to set. "Don't let him get too close. Talk to him, but avoid touching. Avoid flirting." Making my own little mental rulebook for myself, I didn't notice that my shoe lace had come undone, and just before I could catch myself I landed in the wet gravel.

"Fuck me!" I cursed loudly, as I sat up and looked at my hands and knees. I had bad scrapes on either hand and knee, and I could see little pebbles still sticking in my skin. "For fucks sake, Jennifer." I scolded myself as I tenderly tied up my shoe lace, before getting back up and limping back to the set.

I had been gone for a good hour, and when I returned a few people were already sitting outside on their trailer stairs, sipping a cup of their morning coffee. No one around here functioned without coffee.

Not wanting anyone to see me like this, I tried to walk normally to my trailer and quickly disappeared into it, shutting the door behind me and locking it so that no one could come in. Especially not Josh.

But it was already too late for that.

He was lying on my bed again, Pippi on his chest and Driver lying next to him, while cuddling the dogs simultaneously.

"What… what are you doing in here?" I asked, walking to the kitchen to hide my knees behind a counter.

He shrugged and sat up, Pippi slipping into his lap. "I wanted to see if you wanna catch some breakfast at Wendy's or something." Josh knew exactly how much I adored Wendy's. Especially in the mornings. "But you weren't here, soooo… I waited."

"Oh. Well, I was out for a jog, and-"

"And you fell," Josh said. How the fuck did the smart fucker know? "I saw your knees when you came in." he said, answering my mental question.

Josh got up from the bed, walked towards the kitchen and reached for my hands. "Lemme see," he said gently, and before I could protest he had grabbed my wrists and was examining the scrapes and cuts in my hands. "You need to go to a doctor, Jen. There's a shit ton of rocks stuck in there."

I pulled away my hands and rolled my eyes. "No shit, Captain Obvious. I just can't really drive anywhere, you know." I held up my hands with a sarcastic smile. And I can't exactly ride on your motorcycle with you, since that's still at the Mexican place.

"Oh yeah," Josh laughed, as if he had completely forgotten the bike. "Tell you what, we'll take a taxi to the hospital and I'll have the driver drop me off to get my bike, and he'll drive you home."

With a sigh, I nodded and gave in to him. He was right about having to get me to a doctor. There was no way in hell I would let anyone pull these rocks out of my body without some painkillers or local anesthetics.

The taxi came shortly after, and Josh helped me get into the car. So much for keeping my fucking distance.

I tried my best not to speak to him in the taxi, or when the doctor pulled the rocks from my hands and knees. I could tell that he was getting frustrated with my short replies to everything he was saying, because he let out a loud sigh every time he attempted to make conversation, and he wore a pouty expression on his face that made my stomach fuzzy. I tried my best not to look at him after that.

"Are you gonna talk to me at all today or are you pissy with me for some reason?" Josh said with an annoyed tone to his voice when we sat down in the taxi. My stomach tied up in a knot. What the fuck was I going to say? 'I'm ignoring you because I have feelings for you and that makes me feel guilty'? Sighing, I shrugged my shoulders and kept staring out the window, watching as trees and buildings and cars flew past.

"Just moody today."

I could hear Josh shift next to me, and when I took a peek at him I saw him staring out the other window. His jaw was clenched tight, and I noticed a frown on his face. God damn, he made my knees feel weak when he was angry. Or maybe that was just the local anesthesia wearing off, I wasn't sure. Either way, it made me quickly look out of my window again.

The taxi driver stopped by the restaurant so that Josh could drive the rest of the way back on his bike. We didn't say a word to each other when he paid to driver for the rest of the drive and got out of the car.

I felt like a horrible friend. How could I just decide to ignore the guy who was there for me when I needed him? I wanted to disappear into a dark black hole of shame and stay there until all my feelings for him disappeared. If there was something, or someone, out there to take away all these feelings, I would pay all the money in the world just to stop being in love with my best friend.

The person that should be making those feelings go away was Jamie. Jamie was the one I was marrying, after all. He was the love of my life, as I'd clearly stated many times before. We were going to get married, have two or three kids, move to the country and have a happy life together. We'd watch our kids grow old and we'd grow into old wrinkly people together. We'd sit on our front porch all day long and drink tea together until the day we'd both pass in our sleep. That is what I wanted.

When I got back to the set, I let out Pippi before sitting down outside on a bench with a bottle of water and my sunglasses that I had grabbed on my way from my trailer and soaked up the sun. The heat spread out on my skin, and although I couldn't really feel it on my knees or the palms of my hands, it felt absolutely fucking amazing. With my head leaned back so that I was looking up to the sky, I spread my arms out on the back of the bench. I could sit here for hours.

Just then I heard the gate squeak open, and without moving my head, I opened my eyes and peeked down at whoever entered.

It was Josh, pushing his bike through the gate before parking it near the entrance, and then closing the gate behind him. I could see him look at me for a moment when he turned around, but instead of walking towards me, he looked away and walked straight past me, the gravel crunching under his feet with every step he took.

 _'Good,'_ I thought, although I couldn't dismiss the guilty feeling soaring through me. _'He finally fucking gets that I don't want anything to do with him outside of filming.'_

The morning buzzed by, most of which I spent in the sun, texting Jamie about me falling and him filming his new movie, until David finally called all of us together so that we could begin filming our movie, which was ironically enough called "Till we meet again". Perhaps this is why he chose Josh and I for the main characters in the movie. Because he always had a feeling that we were in love all those years ago, and are now finally meeting each other again.

I felt an anger bubble up deep inside me. This was all David's god damn fault. It was his fucking fault that I began to doubt my love for Jamie. It was this motherfuckers fault that I was falling in love with my best friend again.


	7. Chapter 7

I was pulled away into a make-up trailer with Josh, where two women began to apply make up to our faces and did our hair.

Mine was pulled back out of my face, a high ponytail on the back of my head, while Josh's hair was pushed back and a bit of gel was added.

I chuckled lightly and looked at him through the mirror. "Your hair looks so sexy pushed back," I said, quoting one of my favorite movies, and tensed up when I realized what I'd said. Josh simply gave me a barely-there smile, his eyes not meeting mine, before I allowed my body to loosen up a bit and my gaze returned to my own reflection in the mirror.

So we sat there in silence, nothing but the radio playing in the background, and waited for the stylists to finish working on us so that we could get filming over with.

This went on for the next week and a half. We'd wake up, get ready to film, film our scenes for the day, and return to our trailers or leave set for a while before turning in for the day. The only time Josh and I interacted with each other was during filming, or when we desperately needed something from the other.

When I wasn't texting or on call with Jamie, talking about how much we missed each other and already planning for him to come see me in a few days when he finished filming his movie, I was lounging around my trailer with Pippi and watching crappy Lifetime movies on TV. The only times I left my trailer was to film and to walk Pip. My body longed for Josh's touch and my ears for his amazing laugh. The loneliness that I felt was indescribable and I had no one but myself to blame for it.

Lying wide awake in my bed, I turned my head to look at the clock next to my bedside table. 1:52 AM. The blue numbers burnt my eyes in the dark room, and I pressed the palms of my hands against them.

Outside I could hear something with four legs softly pad across the gravel: probably Driver. The Los Angeles nightlife was booming right now. I could hear the faint music of a club nearby, people and occasional cars passing on the street. A breeze of cool air came through the window, lightly tickling my skin, and frogs and insects competed in being the loudest. Although nothing could beat the roar of what was my mind at that moment.

How the fuck was I going to keep Jamie in my trailer in a couple of days, while Josh was in the one next to mine? How could I sleep next to my fiancé while craving the touch of my best friend?

'There is nothing in your fucking power that you can do to change it, Jennifer! Admit that you love him! Stop blocking him out of your life!' Cried a voice at the back of my head, overpowering all the other ones.

"Fuck!" I hissed into the dark, kicking my legs up in frustration and letting them bounce back onto the soft mattress of my bed. Keeping away from Josh wasn't making it any better. If anything, this past week had done nothing but made it worse. Many nights, just like tonight, did I find myself lying awake, listening to the sounds outside and thinking of him. I'd imagine all the dirty things he would do to me if I stopped being a little bitch and owned up to my feelings for him, and shortly after those thoughts I would hate myself and end up crying over it.

 _'_ _Not tonight,'_ I thought, before pushing myself up off the bed and slipping into my flip flops. Exiting my trailer in just my shorts and a tank top, I stumbled up the metal stairs of Josh's trailer and softly tapped my knuckles against his door. Part of me hoped that he wouldn't open, while the other part hoped that he would greet me with a big hug that I'd been craving for so long.

My heart was in my throat when the door slowly creaked open, and Josh stood in front of me. He wore dark grey sweatpants, and his torso was completely bare. Looking up at him, I felt hot tears begin to well up in my eyes and before I could say anything to him they rolled down my cheeks. I didn't want to fucking cry. The last thing I wanted was for him to see how much I'd missed him.

"Can I come in or do you wanna sit outside?" I asked softly, trying my best to compose myself. Josh hesitated for a moment, before opening the door completely so that I could enter.

Inside the trailer, I noticed how messy it was. Empty cans and bottles stood around everywhere, his blankets were piled up at the foot of his bed, empty Kit-Kat wrappers on his bedside table and a pizza box on the dinner table. Judging by the complete chaos in here, I figured that Josh wasn't leaving his trailer much. Perhaps he was dealing with this distance just as badly as I was. I awkwardly sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling my knees up under my chin and hugging them. Josh sat down on the other side of the bed and faced me. Together we sat in silence. The only sound that filled the room was the TV playing in the bedroom part of the trailer.

Still resting my head on my knees, I turned to look at Josh to find him staring at me. My heart fluttered.

"Josh..." I started, trying to find the correct words. "I'm so sorry, I... I didn't know what to do, I was feeling so confused and upset I figured the best way to get rid of the buzzing in my mind was to keep distance but it made everything worse."

I looked up at him, noticing a confused expression on his face.

"I still don't understand why you're doing this," Josh scoffed lightly. "Was it because of what happened last week?"

My fingers picked at the chipped off nail polish on my fingernails. Josh didn't know that I was on an emotional rollercoaster because I was in love with him, and there was no way that I could tell him about it. It would only complicate things even more. Nodding at his question, I shrugged my shoulders.

"I didn't think it was fair of me to keep secrets from you. I don't know, when it comes to shit like this I'm a pussy. I flee from conflicts." As I answered him, I couldn't lift my eyes to meet his hazel ones. That was one thing I couldn't do; lie to him while looking him in the eye. It made me feel guilty as fuck, and I was feeling enough of that already.

"You're such an idiot, Jen." Josh laughed lightly while shaking his head. "There was no conflict. I wasn't mad at you or upset with you. There was no reason to flee from anything. If anything, I'm really fucking happy for you."

Relieved, I let out a loud sigh and finally looked up at him, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips. "Thank god," I turned on the bed to face him, laying my legs out on the bed so that my toes were touching his knees. "You know, Woody was the one who brought me to my senses. He called me the other day and told me to get my shit together and talk to you."

A chuckle escaped Josh's lips as he reached for my feet and began to massage them. "Sounds like Woody," his fingers kneaded my feet, working my sole and arches before moving to my toes and taking each one to massage it slowly. First the top of them, and then firmly pressing against the base of my toes. I could feel myself relaxing with every press of his finger, leaning back on my hands and letting my head fall back as his hands worked up my ankles and to my calves.

"Is this the massage you still owe me because I kicked your ass at karaoke?" I wondered as I let myself fall onto my back, by head hanging off the edge of the bed, and allowed Josh full access to my legs. His touch made me feel weak and fuzzy inside. Although I knew exactly why I was feeling this way, I let him work his magic on my legs and tried to shove those thoughts aside. Like that loud voice in my head said: there was nothing I could do to make those damn feelings go away. Perhaps they'd fade with time, but today was not that day.

A chuckled escaped Josh's lips as his fingertips trailed back down to my feet. "I suppose it is," he said, lightly brushing his fingers over the bottoms of my feet to make me giggle. I attempted to pull them away, however he was too quick and tightly held onto my ankles. "Want me to do your back as well?"

Shivers ran through my body at the thought of him sitting on top of me, rubbing the sore muscles in my back, and I hesitantly nodded my head before rolling onto my stomach. Josh handed me one of his pillows for me to put my head on so that I wouldn't be as uncomfortable. I felt him climb onto my legs, sitting just below my butt, and he lifted up my shirt before his warm, big hand began to knead my shoulders simultaneously, causing me to melt beneath him. His fingers dug into my muscles and released all the tension that had been building up these past two weeks. I felt as if every single one of my worries flew out the open window and crossed the hills of Hollywood, only to never be seen or heard of again.

Josh's hands worked over to the base of my neck, where I was feeling most of the tension, and used circular motions to work away the tense muscles. He used the palms of his hands to work down my back, from the inside to the outside, and I let out a little content moan to show him how good his hands felt on my back.

When Josh finally removed his hands from my back, I was nearly asleep. The empty feeling on my back was the only thing that pulled me back to reality, and I rolled over as Josh climbed off of me and laid next to me. Together, we laid there in silence, the only sound coming from the TV and the clock on his nightstand that read 2:15 AM and I turned my head to look at Josh, only to find him already staring at me.

"What are you thinking about?" I questioned him, my voice barely above a whisper. My eyes were fixed on his dark hazel ones and I couldn't help but think about how pretty they were to me.

"The beach." He finally answered, and I gave him a confused look.

"The beach? Why the beach?"

There was a flicker of something in his eyes that I couldn't quite identify, and he licked his lips before he answered my question.

"Our kiss on the beach in Hawaii when we filmed Catching Fire," a lump formed in my throat and I froze as he spoke. "I remember it like it was just yesterday, it's so fucking clear in my mind." His hands flew up to his head and he brushed them through his messy hair.

I didn't know what to say to him. For once in my life, I was speechless. All I could do was lie next to him and stare back into his dark eyes that I adored so much, and wait for him to continue the conversation. I was afraid to move. I was afraid to breathe.

"I don't want it to be this clear," Josh said after a moment of silence, his face turning upwards to face the ceiling. "Don't get me wrong, it's one of my favourite memories and the best fucking kiss I've ever shared with anyone, but I feel so bad for thinking about it all the time, now that you're engaged and all." He turned to look at me again, his eyes studying mine carefully as if he was trying to figure out what I would say.

But there was nothing I had to say. Nothing I _could_ say, because I felt like if I spoke a single fucking word, I would say the wrong thing or break into tears. So I stayed quiet and kept staring at him as he propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes still fixed on me. I could feel the tension between us as his face began to inch closer with every passing second, and nothing within me wanted to stop it.

My mind was screaming at my body, telling it to move out of the way, to dodge his lips, but by the time my limbs could react his lips were connected to mine and his hand flew up to cradle my cheek. The voice in my head that screamed how wrong this was went silent at once and I leaned into the kiss, my hand on the back of his neck as our lips danced together. He placed his other hand on my hip as he climbed on top of me, hovering over me in an attempt to not crush me with his weight as he gently squeezed my hip.

At this moment, nothing else in the world mattered. There was nothing in the world that could break this kiss right now.

Josh's tongue flicked lightly against my lips, and I parted them slightly so that our tongues could dance just like our lips did. He let out audible groans to let me know how much he was enjoying this, and I could feel a noticeable bulge grow between his legs and press against my thigh. A heat began to raise inside of me, causing my cheeks to turn a red colour, and that's when I realised that I needed to put an end to this.

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away just enough to part our lips, and turned my head to the side, pursing my lips slightly as Josh still hovered over me. I could feel him staring at me and I covered my face with my hand in shame. He climbed off me and sat down next to me on the bed.

"I've been wanting to do that for fucking ages," Josh breathed, but I could only stare at him in terror as I sat up. "You know that stuff we were talking about the other day? That wasn't the truth, Jen. Those feelings never went away. I-"

"Josh, this isn't right…" I interrupted him before he could say the three words that I feared the most. That I feared coming out of his mouth in more than an 'I love you as my best friend' way.

Josh scooted closer to me on the bed, wearing that puppy dog expression on his face that I could never say no to. He placed his hand on my knee and I was hesitant to pull away, but something kept me frozen in place. My mind was racing by now, telling me how big of a fuck up I was and that Jamie would be completely destroyed if he found out what had just happened. Part of me wanted to run while another part of me found his touch oddly satisfying.

Our eyes met, and I could see the hint of sadness and loneliness in them. Not for a second did I doubt that mine looked the same.

"Just stay with me," he breathed, his voice barely audible. "Just for one night, Jen. We don't have to kiss or do anything you don't want to. I just need you here right now." His fingers found mine and he squeezed them gently. "I miss those nights in Hawaii, and all the nights after that. Just one night. That's all I'm asking for. I want you for one more night, and then Jamie can have you for the rest of your life if that's what you want. "

Suddenly I'm hurled back to those memories of Hawaii, and those nights that Josh and I spent together throughout the last 2 movies of the Hunger Games franchise. Back then, everyone had some kind of suspicion about Josh and I, our fans named us 'Joshifer', because the two of us could never keep our hands of each other. They weren't _wrong_ about us being in love, but we were never really in an actual relationship. The feelings were there on both sides, but we figured that we shouldn't be making anything official and public.

Josh and I would spend every night together, not as much sleeping in a sexual way, but more in a 'I need you close' way. Both of us found it hard to sleep without the other after the kiss we shared at the beach in Hawaii, even though we promised that we would be nothing more than friends. And nothing more happened. We shared a bed at night, occasionally falling asleep in each other's arms while the sounds of the outside world lulled us to sleep.

And that was exactly what would happen tonight.

Nodding my head gently at Josh, I crawled towards the head of the bed and placed the pillow behind my back, leaning against it. Josh's puppy dog face turned into a happy puppy expression, and I couldn't help but smile back at him. His happiness was infectious.

Before crawling into bed with me, Josh switched off the Television that had been running since I entered the trailer, called Driver in for the night and threw the blankets back on the bed, so that we both wouldn't be freezing tonight. With one swift motion he jumped on the bed, causing me to bounce up and down on the mattress and making me giggle a little. Driver followed close behind Josh, curling up at our feet, and I scooted closer to Josh, sliding down into the lying position so that I could place my head on his shoulder.

When I felt his arm wrap around me, I felt safe and content. The feeling was stronger than it ever was when I was lying in bed with Jamie, and that was oddly satisfying, as much as I hated to admit it.

I snuggled up against him, an arm slung over his stomach and one leg over his, before pushing all my thoughts about Jamie to the back of my mind and focusing on the moment I was living in right now.

"Good-night, Jen," Josh breathed softly, before pressing his lips against the top of my head.

"Night," I whispered in return, and together we dozed off, the breathing of each other and the noises of the night sending us into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

When I wake, I feel the weight of someone's hand lying on the bare spot of my stomach where my top had ridden up in my sleep. I sleepily turn over towards the person next to me before cuddling against him. Despite the fact that I had just woken up and that my mind was filled with sleepy thoughts, I still knew exactly who I was lying next to. Bringing a hand up to his face, I lightly traced my index finger across his lips, remembering that wonderful kiss from last night all too well.

At my touch, Josh stirred lightly and rolled onto his side, his hand now on my back, and his eyes opened to meet mine. Everything inside of me wanted to look away from those beautiful hazel eyes, but god damn it I couldn't break out gaze.

A sleepy smile crossed his face, his tired eyes lighting up as he pulled me into him, his lips pressing against my forehead in a soft kiss. "Mornin'," he said with a sleep-filled voice as he turned away to stretch out his limbs, making my stomach turn. I had always fancied his sleepy voice- I thought it was sexy as fuck.

"Hey." I greeted him lightly as I sat up in bed, pulling the blankets up under my chin. It was freezing in the trailer since Josh never slept with the heating on, and the windows of the bedroom were opened. I watched him with sleepy eyes as he crawled out of bed and stretched his arms over his head, before shuffling over to his kitchen, and pulling a small square box from a drawer which I couldn't identify. He opened the door to his trailer, letting Driver out to go do his business, and followed him outside where he stopped to sit down on the stairs of his trailer.

I climbed out of bed after him, the blanket wrapped around my body to keep me from freezing, and waddled to the door where I saw Josh with a lit cigarette between his lips.

"Joshua!" I scolded him, attempting to knock the cigarette from his mouth but instead burning my index finger on the lit end. Never ever had I seen Josh smoke.

"What are you doing, dumbass?" Josh asked with a laugh as I stuck my burnt finger in my mouth, frowning at him and the pain. He turned his torso to look up at me, before patting the empty space on the step next to him and flicking the cigarette away. "Let me have a look at it."

Giving him a hesitant look I pulled my finger from my mouth with an audible 'pop' and sat down next to him, holding my finger out to him. As he took my hand ever so gently to observe my finger, I felt as if I was going to melt between his hands right there, right then. Although I was beginning to accept my feelings for him, I still couldn't help but feel guilty about it in the back of my mind. Jamie would be here tomorrow night. I'll have to pretend that the only man I love is Jamie. That all of my feelings for Josh disappeared the day I disappeared from his life all those years ago.

"Doesn't look too bad," Josh said, nearly making me jump. "Just put some cool water on it and it'll be fine."

My hand lingered in his, and he was looking down at them as he traced my fingers with his softly. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher. What was he thinking about? I had never been good at figuring out what people were thinking. Especially in moments like this, when he seemed to be in a completely different world, thinking of something that I might never know about if I didn't ask him. Carefully, I pulled my hand from his grasp and hid it under the warm blanket.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him still looking down at his now empty, shivering hands.

 _'_ _Well fucking done, Jennifer,'_ I cursed at myself mentally. _'Now you've upset him.'_

"How are you not freezing?" I wondered out loud as I threw my blanket over Josh's shoulders, now covering the two of us. My action must have caught him by surprise since he quickly turned his head to look at me, but he seemed happy to be under a warm blanket. His cold arm touched mine and made me jump back a little, but soon pressed it back against his as I rested my head against his shoulder with an audible sigh. The first couple of months when I'd left America to move to London were the worst. I was alone, Jamie and I didn't even know each other yet, and every day I craved for moments like this with Josh. We were still texting and calling each other every other day but the 8 hour time difference and working all the time made it almost impossible. Every day calls turned into weekly texts, which turned into texting each other on birthdays or holidays, until there were no more texts at all.

Beneath the blanket, I could feel him fiddle with his hands. He was probably debating on whether or not he should wrap his arm around because shortly after the movement had stopped I felt his arm creep around my lower back and his hand squeezed my hip on the opposite side of him.

"I don't want this to end," Josh said in a low voice. "I don't want us to end. Not again."

Sitting up straight, I looked down at the gravel and picked at my nails beneath the blanket. "It... _We_ have to, Josh. I'm engaged, soon to be married. This isn't right..."

Josh's arm retreated from my waist and he got up from the step, standing in front of me in just his sweats, his feet and torso completely bare. He was visibly angry as his fists were balled up at his sides. I'd only seen Josh angry one time in my life when someone snuck into an after party and tried harassing me.

"This is in no way fucking fair, Jennifer. We both know that we feel the same way about each other," he brushed his hands through his dark tousled hair. "So why are we going to pretend like none of that shit back in Hawaii, and the two years after that didn't fucking happen? What are you so afraid of, Jen?"

By now, he'd stepped closer to me with his hands on my cheeks, brushing the loose strands of hair that hung down my face to the side.

I shook my head free from his hands and looked up at him. "Because I'm in love with Jamie, Josh. I'm going to get married to him, and we're going to start a family together." Standing up, I shivered as my feet touched the cold gravel. "I'm turning 30 next year. I want to settle down and have my own family. What we had was when we were in our early 20's and we didn't know what we were fucking doing. We were being stupid."

Josh looked as if I had slapped him right across the face. Here I was again, not thinking before I spoke. After all these years, the only thing that hadn't changed apart from our feelings for each other was my non-existent filter. I knew that what I had said hurt him badly by the look in his eyes, however he was quick to cover up the expression on his face so that I could no longer read him.

"So you're saying that what I'm feeling for you right now is fucking stupid?" he said, his voice growing louder with every word he spoke, although he quickly regained his calm. "I have been in love with you since the first Hunger Games movie. That was 8 years ago when we were filming it. For 8 years, I have been patiently waiting for you to return that feeling for me, even if it's just the slightest." Josh's voice shook at the end of his sentence and he was visibly upset. He stood in front of me, studying my face for a moment, before continuing to speak.

"For 3 years I believed that you were feeling the same way about me. When we kissed at the beach and shared a bed together all throughout the filming and tours and press conference until the last movie was done and everyone went their separate ways," he hesitated a moment, as if he was thinking about whether or not he should say what he was thinking of saying, and then continued. "I waited for so long for you, Jen. I waited for you to call when you moved away. I needed you and you weren't there."

His last words were like a punch in the gut. 'I needed you and you weren't there,' his voice echoed in my head, growing louder and louder. I wanted to press my hands against my ears to make it stop, but I knew it wouldn't work.

Josh kneeled down in front of me, placing his hot hands on my exposed knees. "So please, Jennifer. Tell me if I should stop giving a shit now so that I won't he to go through that shit again."

I took a deep breath and met his eyes, scared of what would happen after this. Scared of losing him as a best friend completely, but also scared of continuing what we'd been doing. After knowing how it felt to lose him, I didn't want to lose him again. I didn't want to put _him_ through that again. On the other hand, however, I just couldn't keep on sharing a bed with him every night while my fiancé was halfway across the world.

"I love Jamie," I could barely speak the words out loud. Everything inside of me wanted to run away and hide in a big, dark hole and never come out. I was ashamed of making Josh believe that there might be a chance of us ending up together.

As I looked up at Josh, I could see the pain in his eyes which he quickly tried to hide by looking down at his bare feet on the gravel. I wanted to jump up and wrap my arms around him. Never before had I seen him with so much pain and sadness written across his face.

"Alright," Josh said after clearing his throat and brushing his hand through his still sleep-tousled hair. "That's all I needed to know." He began to walk towards me, and for a moment I thought he was coming to hug me, only to be disappointed when he walked past me up the stairs and into his trailer.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said when I looked back at him with a confused look on my face. Without another word, he slipped away into his bathroom, and when I heard the lock click behind him, I knew that this was my sign to leave. Josh never bothered to lock his doors around me.

With a defeated feeling in my stomach, I got up and returned the blanket to Josh's bed, kindly making it for him as if to make it up to him, and then collected a couple of the empty candy wrappers and pizza boxes that were lying around his trailer and tossed them in his trash can, before leaving the trailer and heading to mine.

Just as I reached for the handle of my trailer, the gate to the set opened and when I looked up to see who was coming to work this early, I froze immediately. My fiancé was walking right towards me, pulling a black suitcase behind him. His bright blond hair shimmered in the rising morning sun and I noticed a wide grin on his face.

Both happiness and fear filled me when I raced across the gravel on my bare feet and leaped into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist as he held me tight in his arms. Why was he here? Hr said he wouldn't be here until tomorrow night. Had he arrived 5 minutes earlier he would have caught me cuddling under a blanket with one of the people he hated the most. I had hundreds of scenarios running through my head, thinking about how it would've played out if he had caught us. None of them ended well.

Crushing my lips against his, I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head and tried to enjoy his presence and the kiss we were sharing. I had to admit; it was nowhere close to being as good as the one I had last night.

When we finally pulled away from each other and he let me down on my feet, he took my face into my hands and looked into my eyes, that grin still on my face.

"What in Earth are you doing here?" I laughed, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I wanted to surprise you," he said, his British accent thick and almost unfamiliar. For almost a month now I'd only heard American accents, except for the few times Jamie called me. "They let me off a day earlier than expected. I changed my flight as soon as I found out."

"Oh," I stared into blue eyes, trying to come up with something to say, but I was at a loss of words. Why the fuck did he have to come early? I had things to fix with Josh, and I couldn't fix them with my fiancé right at my fucking side.

"What, are you not happy to see me?" he asked with a slight laugh, searching my eyes for an answer to his question.

I shook my head. "I am, I'm just... surprised to see you early, babe. Had I known that you were coming early, I would've planned something special for you…" My eyes looked down at the ground as I released him, and we began heading towards my trailer. "I mean, the reservations for tomorrow night are still on, but it sucks having to wait for a fucking day. You know how damn impatient I am."

Jamie let out a laugh, his hand reaching for mine. I looked over at Josh's trailer when we got to my door, and before I could disappear into my own trailer I caught a glimpse of Josh's face in his bathroom window, staring out at the two of us.

Everything inside of me wanted to push Jamie down the stairs and race into Josh's trailer to greet him with open arms.


	9. Chapter 9

Panting loudly, Jamie and I laid next to each other on my trailer floor after two hours of frantic love making. As soon as we got into my trailer when he arrived he'd pinned me against the kitchen counter, and everything took it's course from there. When we were done, there was not a single surface in my trailer where we hadn't had sex.

"That... was needed," Jamie let out a laugh, his hands on his stomach and his eyes fixed on my face. Pippi jumped down from the sofa, and Jamie reached out to give her a good scratch behind the ear.

I was lying next to him, staring up at the ceiling with a worn out smile on my face. "At least I won't have to worry about working out today," I turned my head to meet his blue eyes. His hair was so messy and sweaty from the sex, it was standing out in all directions. Letting out a soft chuckle I brushed a hand through his hair, flattening it against his head. When I removed my hand a few strands of hair popped back up, and I let my arm fall back down to my side.

"I was thinking we could get our own apartment while I'm here. I won't be working for a couple of months and I really don't want to stay in this trailer," Jamie brushed his fingers across my sweaty cheek as we stared at each other. I simply shrugged my shoulders and gave him a small nod, not in the mood for talking apartments.

Looking over at my alarm clock, I jolted up off the floor when I realised what time it was.

"What?" Jamie mumbled and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Its fucking 8. I have to shower and get ready to go into make up, fuck!" I cursed loudly as I scrambled around my trailer, frantically looking for something to wear in my large suitcase. I'd settled on a pair of black leggings, a blue and white striped, loose top and my matching lacy black panties and bra.

Bending down, I pressed a kiss against Jamies lips. "Maybe you should get dressed too, or shower when I'm done. You can come watch us on set!"

"What if I came and showered with you? We'd save water." pushing himself up off the floor, Jamie stood completely naked in my trailer, for everyone who looked inside my window to see his bare ass.

With a loud laugh, I quickly disappeared behind my bathroom door and locked it. "Forget it, Jamie. I need to hurry up and you wouldn't be helping!" I shouted through the wooden door, before turning the hot water tap on and tossing my clean clothes on the bathroom counter. I stood there for a moment, staring at my reflection in the mirror and fought the urge to punch the glass. The frustration inside me wanted to come out so bad, but I did everything to hold it in.

I felt as if I was cheating on Josh with Jamie, when I should be feeling the other way around. I'd just slept in a bed with my best friend, and then fucked my fiancé right after.

"You are so fucked up," I mumbled to my reflection, noticing how red my eyes were becoming from holding back the frustrated tears. But no matter how hard I tried, they eventually escaped the corners of my eyes and rolled down my sweaty face.

 _'_ _Get your shit together, Jennifer.'_

With one swift motion, I spun away from the mirror and faced my bathtub, before stepping under the now steaming water. I quickly rinsed the sweat and dirt from my skin, before washing my hair and giving my underarms a shave.

I didn't want to leave my shower. The thought of having to face Josh, and act like nothing happened was terrifying. I was a good actress and a good liar, but only on cameras. As soon as they'd stop rolling, I was scared that Jamie would see that something happened between me and Josh and start asking questions.

There was a knock on my door that made my heart skip a beat.

"Babe, you almost done?" Jamies voice came from behind the door. "Your stylist came by to see if you were ready."

Switching off the water, I stepped out onto the fluffy bathroom mat and wrapped a towel around myself, before unlocking the door and opening it to let all the steam out. I hated getting dressed in a steamy bathroom.

"You go ahead and shower," I ordered and grabbed my clothes from the bathroom sink to get dressed in the bedroom portion of my trailer, but Jamie caught the top of my towel before letting it fall to the ground. He grinned playfully at me, however I returned it with an annoyed frown and picked the towel back off the ground.

I ignored the groan he let out when he disappeared in the bathroom, and dropped my clean clothes on the bed before pulling on my panties and clipping my bra together in the back. I quickly slipped into my leggings and top, and then rubbed my damp towel through my hair in an attempt to dry it a little, but since my hair wasn't very thin I wasn't getting anywhere.

"I'll be on set if you need me!" I shouted to Jamie as I grabbed my script from the bedside table and hurried out the door of my trailer. Pippi followed close in my tracks, and when I stepped outside I nearly froze in my tracks. Josh was sitting outside his trailer, quietly smoking a cigarette as Driver sat next to him. He looked cleaner than he had been these past week or two, his hair shimmering in the sun. He wore a black V-neck, and a pair of dark jeans to go with the shirt.

"You coming?" I wondered, pretending as if nothing had happened between us earlier today, and couldn't help but smile a little when Pip and Driver greeted each other with licks and barks.

Josh looked up at me, blowing a cloud of smoke from his mouth, before pressing the cigarette butt into the ashtray next to him, and pushing himself up off the ground. Headed into his trailer he left me standing outside without a word, and I was about to leave to go to the set on my own when he returned with his script and a packet of Kit-Kats in his hands. "Let's go," He said, walking past me.

I quickly caught up to him, my book under my arm, when Josh held out the opened pack of Kit-Kats, the last one pointing out. I looked at him for a moment, hesitating, before grabbing the chocolate from its wrapper and taking a bite of it.

"Thanks," I muttered, chewing the candy, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Josh nod his head slightly. Awkward silence followed as we walked side by side, our footsteps matching one another.

I was about to speak, when I heard Jamie's voice coming from the direction my trailer was in and I felt a knot form in my stomach. Spinning around, I stopped walking to see Jamie jogging towards us, his hair still wet from the shower. Josh stopped just a few feet after me when he noticed I stopped.

"Thanks for waiting," Jamie breathed when he reached us and planted a soft kiss on my forehead. Never in my life had felt so awkward as I did in that moment. I had my fiancé grabbing a hold of my hand, and my best friend whom I was in love with standing next to us, watching us closely.

I was relieved when we of us got to the make-up trailer and the stylists fixed us up while Jamie got himself breakfast at the buffet table they had set out for us on set. After the two of us slipped into our costuJosh and I sat there in silence again. The silence between us was deafening. I wanted to scream at him and tell him to fucking _say something_ to me, but I couldn't. Instead, I stared at my reflection and watched as my stylist did my hair.

"You two look good together," Josh said, finally breaking the silence between us.

I watched myself in the mirror as my face flushed. "Thank you." My words came out in what was almost a whisper. I wasn't expecting those words to come from him; not after the argument we'd had.

"We're thinking about getting an apartment here," I turned my head slightly to look at Josh, only to see him frowning down at his hands. He knew that us getting an apartment meant that he would only see me on set. "Jamie doesn't like staying in trailers for a long period of time, but hell, I can't fucking blame him."

Josh let out a scoff and shook his head. "So he comes here and tells you that you're moving into an apartment because he doesn't like your trailer?" He was looking at me through the large mirror in front of him, his eyes filled with anger and resentment. "You've changed, Jen. The old Jen that I knew didn't take orders from some guy."

I pursed my lips as I felt myself getting angry with Josh. Of course I had changed since the last time we spoke. It had been years. I was a grown ass woman now, ready to start a fucking family. I wanted to be with my fiancé, no matter what, and if he slept better in an actual bed, then I would be okay with that. Josh was obviously just not okay with the fact that he wouldn't be seeing me around as much.

"I've grown up, Joshua. You should try it sometime," I turned my head to look over at him, which made my stylist grumble and straighten my head again. The glimpse of his face that I caught looked as if my words had upset him once again. "Look, Josh. I do still want to be your friend. So what if I want to live in an actual apartment while I'm here? It has nothing to do with Jamie telling me what to do. If I'm gonna be in LA for a year then I don't want to ruin my back on some cheap ass trailer mattress."

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Josh shrug his shoulders. "I'm just saying," he sighed heavily. "The old Jen wouldn't have done any of this."

"We're done here," My stylist noted as she finished applying hairspray to my now heavily curled hair, and I pushed myself up out of the chair.

"What would the old me do?" I rested my hand on the back of his chair, staring at him through the mirror in front of us. "Because as far as I know, the _old_ me would have done the same thing for _you_ if only you had asked." I stared at his reflection for a few more seconds, biting down on my lips as our eyes were locked on one another, before I exited the trailer and let the door slam behind me. I was furious with Josh. He was making assumptions about who I was, and pretending as if those 4 years of us doing our own thing didn't happen. He expected me to be the same person that I was still Katniss Everdeen and he was Peeta Mellark.

When I got to the set, Jamie was sitting on a chair with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. His face lit up when he saw me walk into the room, and I quickly climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck while he rested his coffee on my thigh.

"You okay there, princess?" Jamie asked, taking a bite of his blueberry bagel and tilted his head to look down at me.

I buried my face in his neck. Telling Jamie about the conversation Josh and I just had wouldn't be the greatest idea I've had, but I desperately needed someone to talk to, and Jamie was the only person I had. Obviously I couldn't talk to him about _everything_ , like us sleeping in a bed together, or kissing each other, but I could tell him about Josh giving me a hard time for being with Jamie.

Keeping my face pressed against Jamie's neck, I let out a heavy sigh. "Josh isn't okay with us, I think," I picked at a loose string on Jamie's shirt as I spoke, feeling him tense up beneath me. "I told him that we were thinking about getting an apartment while I'm here, and he-"

"He doesn't think it's a good idea for you to live with your fiancé," Jamie finished my sentence for him and I nodded. "He's upset that you won't be in the trailer next to his and he can't creep on you while you're sleeping."

Jamie's comment made me frown and look up at him. "What makes you think Josh would do something like that?"

He shrugged his shoulders, lifting the paper cup to his lips before sipping the hot coffee. "Just strikes me as the type." A smile crept across his lips and he attempted to press a kiss against my forehead, but I quickly pulled away and slid from his lap.

"Oh come on, babes, it's just banter…" Jamie let out a sigh as I made my way over to the table with all the bagels and coffee. I stood there for a moment, debating on whether I should have a plain bagel or a blueberry bagel, when I noticed someone coming up to the table, and reaching into the basket of blueberry bagels. Realising whose hand it was I looked up, but Josh's eyes were busy scanning the table for sugar. When he found the little packets, he ripped one open and dumped the contents into his coffee before putting the lid back on it and heading off towards the camera guys to chat with them.

With a sigh I reached for the plain bagels and took a bite from one, leaning against the table. I watched the man who was once my best friend talk and laugh with the guys from set, wishing he would talk and laugh with me, like we used to, before everything became so messy.

I felt an arm creep around my waist, and I looked up to meet Jamie's eyes before resting my head on his shoulder and letting out a sigh.

"I spoke to a realtor while you were in the shower," Jamie said after pressing his lips against the top of my head. "There's a really nice apartment just a couple of blocks away from here. It's on the top floor and it's got an incredible view." He held up his phone to show me a picture of a view from a living room, overlooking half of LA. Lifting my finger up to the screen of the smartphone I swiped through the pictures of the apartment, immediately falling in love with the modern little home.

With a grin, I looked up at Jamie and nodded my head. "We'll go check it out as soon as I'm done working this evening." I kissed his lips gently, before rushing off to the set when David called out for me to join them.

The smile disappeared as soon as I turned my back to Jamie. This apartment would put even more distance between Josh and I.


End file.
